Don't rely on assumptions of nonverbal communication.

                                     

     Each one of these faces communicates a different feeling or emotion.  Each one of these body positions does the same.  People communicate every day in many different forms.  Sometimes another person can tell what is going on between people without hearing the conversation just by watching body movements.  You can tell if the people are happy and are getting along or if they are fighting or having a disagreement.  This is because of nonverbal communication.  Knapp and Hall (2010) states nonverbal communication is the process of intentionally or unintentionally signaling meaning through behavior other than words (as cited by O’Hair and Wiemann, 2012, p. 128)

     This week my assignment in my Communication and Collaborating in Early Childhood course, my assignment was to watch a show that I never watched before twice; with the first time being without sound.  Then I was to give my assumption of what I thought went on and then re-watch it with sound.  I chose to watch a special preview on Hulu.com of a new sitcom scheduled to air on NBC next month called Welcome to the Family.  I do not watch TV normally and so this website was perfect for helping me complete this assignment.  The sitcom starts with two graduations in which the young girl (Caucasian) sends a message to the boy (Hispanic) that she is pregnant during the midst of both graduations.  The show continues with conversations between the girl and the boy that seemed to be both happy moments and moments when they were upset or unhappy with frown and fast hand movements. 

The girl tells her parents something and then opens the door to the boy and his parents.  They arrived with a pan of something cooked.  Her parents are visibly upset and his parents are smiling until the girl’s father says something to them and they both turn their heads quickly toward the young couple with their mouths open.  The parents start to argue with each other and the boy and his parents walk out of the house.

The rest of the show shows the young couple having discussions and the parents arguing every time they see one another.  This continues until the end when they were all at an amusement park and thought that the young couple was getting on the roller coaster.  The camera showed a sign that people are not allowed to ride while pregnant.  Then it shows the moms running in one direction and the fathers running in another to get to the ride.  As they stop the ride from taking off the girl walks up with cotton candy and the young boy turns around.

My assumptions based on the body language of the actors was that the parents were unhappy about the pregnancy and was further upset about what seemed to appear the young boy asking the girl to marry him.  The parents seem to not get along with each other constantly until the last scene when they combined together to stop what they assumed to think was the couple going on a roller coaster ride.

As I re-watched the show with the sound on, I realized that my assumptions were right.  The girl was just barely graduating while the boy was an honored student with a bright educational future.  They were both expected to go to different colleges.  The boy’s parents knew about the girl but the girl’s parents had no idea about the young man.  The fathers happen to meet as the girl’s dad meet when the girl’s father comes into the boy’s father’s gym for a free lesson. This first conversation goes badly and they argue more than talk.  The young girl decides to start communicating to them and tells them that she has a boyfriend and is pregnant.  She also tells them that her boyfriend and family are there for dinner.   As the fathers see each other, they start arguing.  The young couple was excited about their expectant child but faced the pressures of their parent’s unhappiness of their parents.  The young couple decided they would be a family despite their fathers’ objections and told them that if they wanted to be a part of their family then they could join them as they celebrate.  The fathers were constantly fighting and the fights continued to the end of the show when they combine forces to stop the children from taking a rollercoaster ride.  The boy’s father had to help the girl’s father walk away from the park because he hurt his leg.  As the show goes off, the girl’s parents are talking while he is laid up in the bed with ice on his knee and she is in the bathroom looking at a home pregnancy test that shows a positive result.

Seeing the show without words caused me to assume some things that I found were not completely correct.  This taught me a lesson that we can watch a person or assume we know what the other person is saying but in the end our assumption can be totally wrong.  Communication has to be effective in order for full understanding can be achieved.  Assuming what you think you are hearing or understanding by watching lips moving, gestures or body language can cause you to judge a conversation wrongly.   Be an effective communicator and don’t assume you know or understand what another person is saying.  

Resource

O’Hair, D. & Wiemann, M.  (2012). Real Communication.  Chapter 5, Nonverbal

            Communication (pp. 128-155).  Boston, MA.  Bedford/St. Martin